The Great Wilderness

Well, I'm back from Moldova! Wow! What an amazing experience and opportunity to be involved with what God is doing all over the world... and specifically Moldova.
Tomorrow morning I leave for our annual youth missions trip to Pittsburgh. I believe this will be the 7th group I've lead to Pittsburgh for youth summer missions. It'll be my 11th time to The Pittsburgh Project, as I went 4 times myself in high school.
But now on to the reason for the blog.
I gotta be honest, I'm hitting rock bottom with this whole adoption deal. Originally we were told to expect to receive a referral 3-7 months from the time our paperwork reached Addis. That was December 20. So three months was March. March rolled around. No referral. April. No referral. Then we were told expect 5-7 months (as referrals had slowed down). So May rolls around. No referral. So when we called our agency to decide what to do about my trip to Moldova, our coordinator told Kathee that currently (this was in May) the majority of referrals for infant boys comes right at the 6th month mark. Great, so that was June 20th! Sweet action. So Kathee and I talked about what to do if/when the referral came when I was in Moldova (as when you receive a referral you have one week to decide if you want to accept the referral). So we had the plan set and ready. So when I came home July 8, and still no referral, I was a bit discouraged. So now we sit at July 18 (Friday) with Sunday being July 20. For those of you counting with us, that's 7 months from the date our paperwork arrived. However, we did receive an email from their blog saying that infant boy referrals are now 7-9 months from the time the paper arrived. So here we sit. And here I get more discouraged.
HOWEVER!!! Last Sunday, thanks to one of the co-teachers who is leading the adult Sunday School class on teaching the inductive Bible study with me, I was equipped with the knowledge that would impact the next day as I was driving to work. I was reflecting on the wait, asking for the Lord to give me strength to remain hopeful and joyful. I was asking Him to give me the strength to be strong for Kathee so she doesn't have reason to dispair. I was asking for patience in the process and to know that He is still in charge and everything is working according to His time. It was then that the lesson from the day before hit me. We were studying Deuteronomy 8. It happens during the Israelites wilderness sojourn. It's there that it hit me, I am in the wilderness right now. This whole adoption seems dead, or in the least, it's gone dormant (on our end... not on the end that matters). All we hear is "more time, more time." I see no progress. However, the Lord says essentially remember and do not forget all that I have done for you. And so in this time, as I/we wait eagerly for the referral to come, I am called to remember all that God has done in this process going back to when we still lived in Minnesota (7+ years ago). Remember all that the Lord did to lead us to this agency. Remember the Lord leading us to adopt from Ethiopia. Remember being accepted into the program with AWAA. Remember how quickly things came at the beginning. Remember how surprised adoption people were with how quickly things were falling in to place. Remember all the hard work Kathee did in getting EVERYTHING ready. Remember, remember, and never forget.
So that is what I'm forcing myself to do. I don't want to be like the Israelites who forgot. Who took God for granted and started taking what God did for them and saying/thinking they did it on their own.
So that's where I am. I'm still daily forcing myself to remember. I'm still praying for strength to not become cynical and sarcastic. I'm still praying not to become angry at AWAA for continuing to stretch out our time (as if they were in control of that anyway). And so I head to Pittsburgh. Hoping that the plan we set up for while I was in Moldova will be used when I'm in Pittsburgh. I hope that call comes today!
But, as I usually end my letters or emails, "safely in His grip." To that I end this post. I am safely in His grip. And to that is, according to the Heidelberg Catechism, one of the only things I am truly able to hang on to in life... that I am not my own, but belong, in body and soul, in life and in death, to my FAITHFUL Savior Jesus Christ.

I'll blog when I get back from Pittsburgh!

Isaac T