Kathee's sister Sharon and brother-in-law Jamie read the book "On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep," just before our nephew Will was born. And listening to the way our nephew Will has responded to their parenting within this routine, Kathee and I purchased the book and are taking turns reading it to each other.
It seems almost too good to be true. An infant getting 7 to 8 of sleep a night by the time they are 9 weeks old? And 10 to 11 hours of sleep per night by 11 weeks? Feeding the child on a routine (taking into account the amount of time between feedings and the parents being able to decide if baby is crying for another reason or is actually hungry), followed by awake and play time, followed by nap time? Are you kidding me? This sort of structure is quite appealing to Kathee and I and are interesting in putting it into action once Gideon gets home.
We went to Barnes and Noble tonight (on date night) and took turns reading chapters to each other. How fun. It was fun reading a chapter, sitting and chatting about each chapter, or segment that tripped our triggers, and then moving on to the next part. We are more than half way done and super-excited about what's next.
We have decided that Kathee is going to make up a mock-schedule to see if it's possible to live within the structure we have currently live (with couples bible study on Monday nights, Kathee's Bible study on Tuesday morning, youth group on Wednesday nights, kids over for dinner and Bible study on Thursday nights, etc, etc, etc). We know that having a child will turn our lives upside down (and we don't know how at this point). So we thought it wise to work up a schedule, see if it works, and then put it into action BEFORE Gideon gets home so we are already in some sort of routine even before Gideon is united with us.
It is so good to have such a great wife, who loves the Lord, loves me, is excited about loving our child, and working in such a way that our marriage and our family prospers! God has been so good to me!
That's it for now. I'll keep you posted on what we find. I'd be interested in what people have to say about the book BabyWise. Have others used it? How successful have you found it? I'm looking forward to hearing feedback.
In Him,
Isaac T
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7 comments:
We love Babywise in our house, as you said. I should also say I love Babywise II. Lots of talk about theory of training children to be self-controlled.
Having said that, Babywise is pretty controversial, as we have discovered. People tend to have strong feelings for or against it. Prepare yourself for some blasts against it.
Love, Sharon
i have not read the book because i dont have my kids anymore.. but i know that you and kathee will be great parnts... i hope that you can understand that i feel a litte better now but im still not feeling good after what a lady told me on the phone... its hard for me beacuse i cant even see my kids un til they are 18 years old.. love kimmiekim
We definitely agree with the Babywise system and raised our daughter on it. It not only helps the child with stability, but it also helps the parents plan their day out and understand the needs of the child rather than guessing. Do take all of it with a grain of salt though, a flexible schedule is really the key to making it work and not stressing oneself out.
I think the Baby Wise system is great for keeping a child on a schedule but would caution you - It is very controversial in that he
recommends you leave a baby to cry her/himself to sleep without any help from mom or dad.
If you have read about about attachment with an adopted child- it occurs when the
primary caregiver(s) consistently meet the felt needs of the adopted child.
When the need cycle is repeatedly met, attachment occur. If the need is "self met, or unmet"
bonding is inhibited. I don't think strictly following Babywise at bed time is "wise" for adopted infants.
Talk to your social worker if you have questions. they should be a wealth of knowledge on this
I don't have kids and have not read the book, but I do have friends who have. I'm guessing the previous commenter has a very good point about attachment/adoption while trying to get your baby to sleep through the night. It may also depend on how bedtimes go for him now...I'm sure it will be hard to 'reteach' bedtime as well as working on attachment. I hope all goes well for you!
The Sears books have been an great resource for our family, which are written by a pediatrician and nurse (christian couple) that have eight children. Their style of parenting is attachment parenting and it differs greatly from BabyWise's techniques.
Most of their literature is already woven into their website www.askdrsears.com.
It is especially good to have their Baby Book on hand during the first year (we've looked up a few thing about Asher already.) It is much better than the What to Expect During the First Year, but it is good to have both.
Sears is also great for info on babywearing... it's where I learned all about slings!
So if you want another perspective - read Sears.
Maharah
I haven't read the other comments so please forgive me if I repeat anything that has already been said. I believe Babywise has some very good parts that you can take from it. Kids thrive on routine. That said, I would be extremely careful applying babywise in the early weeks and months of your adoption. Attachment and bonding occur when a baby's needs are met promptly and he learns to trust his caregivers. Babywise advocates the cry it out method of sleep, which I believe is counter productive to attachment. There is too much to say to fit into one little comment, but I recommend reading something on attachment parenting and meshing ideas from the two to find what works best for you and your family!
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